The time drew through me too quick, too easy to make sense more than once. It was only for that time that the time made sense.
I’m talking about most of my days, the ways time runs throughout, a fervent arbiter, peeking its way into my world through my clocks: my watch, my computer, my phone. It dictates me and my physical and mental movements more than I would have ever hoped.
Sectioned, cordoned, walled, cut off. Everything in its box and time keeps it there. Classes, studying, friends, neighbors, family, lovers, objects, sidewalks, roads, mouth movements, head nods, surface tensions, deep gut feelings, books, cleaning, plant watering. All have their respective theories of time and all are tunneled through something that can be made instantaneous, a flick of the wrist and I know how to rank those things with respect to the AM or the PM, the colon and the hands.
It has its way about me, this time. It can know how I’m feeling and give me another few seconds or it can rip hours out of me. It can falter at times and I can zealously swindle it for more. I can take a gamble and usually lose. I can spend hours phone calling and realize time got lazy and made itself known to me with a fearless vengeance moments later when I fall asleep on my case books, drool and all. I wake hours later, realizing I was done in once again.
There is, however, one peculiarity in this varied mix. Its kind of a secret weapon. Its those moments when I pay no mind to the exacting nature of it all, the compression of experiences that demeans every piece compressed juxtaposed with the slicing and dicing of my daily travels. The varied artificial ways we experience everything is rendered unique and approaches something feeling tangible and real, even a kind of natural. Its the most beautiful thing, gleaned from a sordid past, and it makes things slow down. The swirling of things loses its ferociousness and they turn into mild eddies, ones you just want to sit next to and enjoy, at least for a little bit.
This secret weapon, this delay in dissection, is when I have my tea.
These days, I’m into Moroccan Mint. Anyone else?
